You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
