I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
