pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
