Your mouth is God's brothel.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
