I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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