Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You are the jesus of drinking
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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