i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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