tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
