DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
