I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Never joke about your clitoris.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
