in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
