your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
