She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize