Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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