That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We are two peas in an std pod
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
