Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
