Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
