I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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