im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize