meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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