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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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