He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
