I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
