My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
