All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
