Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize