I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
