So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
