i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
