I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize