I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
