I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
