I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
