Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
