you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
