if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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