So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
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