He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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