My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize