I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
