Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
