I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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