Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
