He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
