Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
