I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
