the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize