I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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