he wants to bone in the snuggie
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
