She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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