Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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