im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
