it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found puke in my bra..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I had to cum in my sink.
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