Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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