What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
