it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
