..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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