What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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