i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
