Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
smell my finger.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
