cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
