So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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