I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Small penises have feelings too.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
