There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
