Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
