who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
