No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
