Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize