my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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