Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
